I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
