if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
