You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
