Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
