What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i love accidental penises.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize