my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
