I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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