He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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