I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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