How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
