I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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