she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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