I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
