he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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