Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
