I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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