There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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