you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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