Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
