Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
