I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
