I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize