I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
