Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
