"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so explain again why im purple
no
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
