So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
