They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
