yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
