Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
