I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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