No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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