it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
