This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize