Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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