After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
