You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
