...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
