we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
