sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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