Kiss
Puke
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
