so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
