How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
