mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
