I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
