she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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