No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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