Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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