Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
