She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
