He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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