take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
