it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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