I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
