porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
please come you make the beer taste better
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you win again, gameday.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
