"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
