I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
