I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
