since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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