Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My balls are so social today.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
