is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
