Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
