just tell him i said nine months
i think i have herpe
just one?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
