this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize