Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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