i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
