she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
