I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
