Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i will never coherently bang her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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